喝水會堅凍/Hoah-chúi ē kian-tàng

Zichichi 佇 Sicily，就是喝水會堅凍--lah！
（聽起來假若是烏手黨大尾ê）

Zichichi tī Sicily，tō sī hoah-chúi ē kian-tàng--lah！
（Thiaⁿ khí-lâi ká-ná sī o͘-chhiú-tóng tōa-bóe-ê）

Gianluca 佮我講，Ì-ta-lī 話嘛有類似「喝水會堅凍」ê 成語；就是用違反熱力學第一、第二、抑是第三定律來比喻。

Gianluca kap góa kóng，ì-ta-lī ōe mā ū lūi-sū "hoah-chúi ē kian-tàng" ê sêng-gí；tō sī ēng ûi-hoán jia̍t-le̍k-ha̍k tē it、tē jī、iah-sī tē saⁿ tēng-lu̍t lâi pí-jū。

Miracles

When the Israeli speaker was introducing "WIMP Miracle" in his seminar talk, Michael Peskin raised his hand,

"Israelis are insane with miracles."

Ferbelization

Knowing I was working at DZero and graduating from Rochester...

John Ellison: So you know Tom Ferbel?
Me: Yes! He Ferbelized my thesis!
John: He is Ferbelizing my papers in CMS...

It is amusing but not surprising that he promptly got what "Ferbelization" means. LOL

Swiss Products

LBNL group: At the beginning we were going to make a TPC (Time projection chamber) on our own, but we found there were so many details to take care of. In the end we decided to use the TPC the Bern group provided. It's nice somebody has made a TPC for you, right?

Leon: Especially they are Swiss.

LOL

Unhappy in its own way

My colleague presented event displays of her shower reconstruction with a comment: well reconstructed showers look similar, while badly reconstructed showers have different features.

I cannot refrain from linking to the famous quote: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." (which is the farthest point of my reading of Anne Karenina.)

早朝

今天的APE (Astrophysics and Exotic Physics) meeting讓我腦中浮現出連續劇的畫面：皇帝早朝朝臣一片祥（ㄔㄣˊ）和（ㄇㄛˋ），皇帝說：
有事出班啟奏，無事捲簾退朝。

不過我是那個皇帝.......囧r2

Brexit Impact at MicroBooNE

My British colleague Andrew Lexington Furmanski is stepping down from his run coordinator position. He announced at the status meeting on Friday, the day right after the Brexit referendum. Regarding what would change to him, he replied, "my salary will decrease."

LOL

(I think this has to be added to the minutes of the meeting...)

DOE SAFE Training

I am taking a DOE safe training for the possibility that I will work overseas more than 30 days. One of the safety training is about overseas driving, and the transcript states,

"If the drivers in the country you are visiting drive on the opposite side of the road than we do in the US, it may be prudent to practice driving in a less populated area before attempting to drive in heavy traffic. Left turns into oncoming traffic are bad, trust me, I got that t-shirt in Japan. Here’s another tip for countries where cars are built wrong, I mean, with the steering wheel on the right side of the car; when, not if, when you accidentally get in the passenger seat because you forgot the car was built backwards, immediately open the glove box and pretend to look for something very important. The locals may not notice, but your friends will for sure."

LOL!

---

June 13 at 10:09pm

Continuing my DOE SAFE training, I was whining, "I've passed the counterintelligence (spy) and the hostage survival modules. Still three modules left...."

"Are those nuclear meltdown, alien invasion, and doomsday modules?" Gianluca replied.

LOL

Make Shower Great Again

I could not refrain from posting my tech note of shower reconstruction on the SLAC meeting agenda with the title "Make shower great again."

My colleague Tracy Usher concluded my shower reconstruction and the following neutral pion mass reconstruction as follows,
"60 years after the neutral pion discovery, we now measured its mass!"
XDDD

Make Filter Great Again

Conversations between my colleague Michael Mooney and me have become --

Me: Hey!
Me: you are not in your best office.
Me: nor the best meeting
Mooney: i'm in the best meeting
Mooney: making meetings best again
Me: Yes you can.
Mooney: yes *we* can, YTT.
....
Mooney: after this meeting we should talk
Mooney: about Big Plans
Me: yes!
Me: building a wall?
Mooney: listen, we are going to build a wall, so high
Mooney: that calorimetric measurements will pay for it themselves.
Me: between signals and noise?
Mooney: exactly
Mooney: the noise is getting into our country
Mooney: its bringing drugs,
Mooney: molesting signals,
Mooney: and we are just not gonna do that anymore
....
Mooney: let me get for you some amazing FHICL file parameters
Me: terrific
Me: make filter great again

Features in PUBS

What are the features in PUBS that people using PUBS really like?

On behalf of the scientific computing division, Kirby was polling us. PUBS stands for Python/php/PostgreSQL UBooNE Software; it is a data processing software framework designed by drinking Kazu, and each step of data processing is defined by a project.

Below is my reply,

The current PUBS, and it is really great PUBS, it really is. It relies on projects -- and we have the best projects, you know, we use the best projects in our PUBS.  It really is quite amazing just how great the project is, but I'm not really, in fact -- it is a project. A really good one and I've talked to people and, lots of people actually, and they all think what I said. It has a lot of appeal. It's really just all there and what it is. If people, you know, losers and whatever, if they don't get it, then what are you going to do? It's not like the idea isn't there and that, you know, it's what it is. I have to shake my head. Everyone is just shaking their heads. It really is.

Multi Faith Church

Our GPS card on the DAQ machine had been on the freewheel mode for a month. Today Eric Church swapped the spare card with a fix to the production machine.
Eric: thank jehova
Eric: well, we havent cut over to the run config that's actually using the GPS yet, but okay
Eric: Ra, Yahweh, ....
Me: are you religious today?
Eric: whatever it takes. add yer Eastern gods there. Sorry if I was ethnocentric
Me: not sure if your God would be offended since it’s his territory ;)
Eric: I am equally invested in all of ‘em
Me: 南無阿彌陀佛
Kazu: did someone die?
——————————————
When I told Gianluca the story tonight, he commented:
You have a multi faith church.

DAQ Audible Alarms for April 1st

I prepared special DAQ audible alarms for today --

1. when a run crashes without knowing what next run is:
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert DAQ



2. when there are three runs crashing in a row within 10 minutes:
Yeah, let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an error, let it be



...and surprised the day shifters, Leon and Mary, and the evening shifter, Ben Carls.

Thanks Michael Mooney, who will be the "executive committee member of 24-7-on-call Data Taking Trouble Shooting Task Force" of MooneyBooNE until his grave with our fully support, for suggestions, Matt Bass for skyping me so that I could see people's reaction, and Kazuhiro Terao for a great proposal and a lot of fun!

How many Chinas?

Today when I was in Gianluca and Kirby's office, Gianluca said his chair was gone.

Gianluca: Did you eat my chair?
Me: I am not Chinese.
Kirby: But you are from Republic of China.
Me: I'm from our China, not their China(*). (crap, why do we have China in our country name?!)
Kirby: How many Chinas are there?
Andy: It depends on whom you ask.
XDDDD

* The world according to Ronald Reagan

Deadlines

When physicists are talking about meeting a deadline,
what they say / what they mean
possible / unlikely
challenging / impossible
aggressive / completely impossible

MicroBooNE DAQ Audible Alarms

MicroBooNE shifters will hate me for I set up this as the DAQ audio alarm:



... In fact, I was jumping up when hearing the alarm even though I was the person who set it up....

SLAC Elementary Particle Physics Division Header

At the all-hand meeting of the SLAC Elementary Particle Physics division, JoAnne, the new division head, addressed the questions she received regarding her future leadership.

Q: How could you, a theorist, lead the Elementary Particle Physics division?
A: I'm a phenomenlogist, not a string theorist!

Useless Particle Physicists

The SLAC director said (roughly), "Stanford and SLAC encourage people to propose new ideas which are useful. You want to have a useful proposal, right?" (pointing me) "Not you."
Useless particle physicists…. @@

Europe vs Italy

I attended a lecture "how to find a job in Europe" yesterday.  The speaker is an Italian working in Bern.  He emphazied a lot on showing the respect of the local culture, language, and politics when looking for a job.  However, there are differences between Europe and Italy.

"The British are proud of being British, the French are proud of being French.  The Italian are proud of... their championship of World Cup.  The Italians are more relaxed."

"You have to know the language.  For example, the French will speak in French after greeting you.  The Italian want to speak English, but they don't know how to speak in English.  So after five minutes, they start to speak in Italian."

"Mobility is considered to be very important.  But in Italy, the only way to get the professorship is to stick to a powerful professor and to get pushed up."

Higgs Coupling

Our jet energy scale paper draft is now under the style review. Stefan, the style reviewer, told us he would probably not progress much because "tomorrow Higgs will be here (the man not the particle)."

At the jet energy scale meeting today, we had the following conversation.
"Stefan is interacting with Higgs, so the paper will probably be delayed a bit."
"How is the coupling? Yukawa coupling close to 1?"
"The coupling is proportional to the mass....."
"Ah, then it is a strong interaction!"
按：Stefan 大概是 D0 collaboration 最胖的 XDD